I think I'm going to do a David Letterman Top Ten list today, remember I'm on the government penny vacation next week, so this will probably be the last post for a couple of days. I'll try to make it a good one.
Top Ten Things Adults Do That I Don't:
10- Be married
9- Stay sober all week long
8- Would actually consider doing something on a Saturday night besides go to a bar
7- Pay their own bills
6- Go to the bathroom to Fart
5- Not consider X-Men 3 a life changing experience
4- Not get visibly excited every time I drive by a Taco Bell
3- Be tired
2- Know enough about grammar so they wouldn't have to email every post to IJ because they would be smart enough not to be worldwide embarrassed about putting an "I" before "E"
1- Have a job
I just found something cool, if you type"whythirtyscaresme" in yahoo or google search engine,shit comes up, everyone give it a try.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Anyone New?
Hi. If any one new is reading this I have been doing this for more than two days, you can check out all my other crap at www.whythirtyscaresme.eponym.com, really I'm quite funny, and handsome. I'm in the library right now and I think Sam Elliot is sitting across from me. I think I should go over there and punch him square in the jaw and really see if he's as manly as he was in We Were Soldiers. I bet I could take him he's old and I'm a young buck of thirty.
Hello everybody, I really didn't do too much this weekend besides play volleyball and spend about a million dollars that I can't afford right now. Next week I'll be at Martha's Vineyard all week. How does one afford to go on vacation without having a job, you might ask? The wonderful world of unemployment! I wish I could find some way to do this for the rest of my life, but I can't. The day that I get home I have to start with monster.com, then maybe take a glance at the paper. Then when all else fails, the temp agencies, I can't wait. Then I'll have to go on interviews, lie about myself and how motivated I am, how I'm never late. I think it will go something like this: Interviewer: Why do think you're qualified to be the vice president for the Ford motor company?
Me: "I don't have AIDS."
Interviewer: "I don't really know what that has to do with it.
Me: "Well you want someone that can stick around for a while don't you?"
Interviewer: "You smell like liquor and did't even shave to come in here, plus you're wearing a wife beater and tennis shoes."
Me: "When do I start? My f-ing office better have a window, by the way your fired!" Interviewer: "Get out of my office."
Me: "It's my office now bitch!"
I think I may be losing it.
Me: "I don't have AIDS."
Interviewer: "I don't really know what that has to do with it.
Me: "Well you want someone that can stick around for a while don't you?"
Interviewer: "You smell like liquor and did't even shave to come in here, plus you're wearing a wife beater and tennis shoes."
Me: "When do I start? My f-ing office better have a window, by the way your fired!" Interviewer: "Get out of my office."
Me: "It's my office now bitch!"
I think I may be losing it.
Monday, June 05, 2006
A cautionary tale on bad luck...
A cautionary tale on bad luck...
by Why thirty scares me on Fri 02 Jun 2006 04:35 PM EDT
Let me tell you about the wonderful world of being "hafnered." Now if you look up the word hafnered in the dictionary, it would say:
hafner(ed) (past tense) see also hafner - n. - one who has found a way to destroy every easy situation; one who makes everything good turn bad: Things were great until that hafner showed up.
v. - to have uncommonly bad luck: Wow, you just got hafnered!
adj. - description of poor or lacking quality: That car is really hafnered.
The origins of "hafnered" started with a string of events that happened to this young man in college,
1) Getting arrested while watching his friend steal a sign
2) Getting arrested in front of his girlfriend and the rest of the people at the DMV for not paying a fine, spending the night in jail (inner city), all the while having the receipt for said fine in his wallet. Cop to Hafner: "Sorry there's nothing I can do, I'm not a judge."
3) Getting beaten up in the front seat of a car for trying to save a girl
4) Having the university he's attending change its policy of grade transfers 2 years after he's been going there, lowering his GPA from 2.8 to 2.2 making graduation borderline impossible, making 6 years of school and $23,000 of debt a complete waste of time.
So let me tell you how I got hafnered yesterday. First, since it's the "Summer of JT" money is a little tight right now, but like a gift from the heavens my old boss called me up and said that he had a check from Audi for $900. It couldn't come at a better time. I'm going on a vacation next week plus my $300 car payment is due. Fantastic luck (admittedly an un-hafner like moment). Since my Dad still works there he picked up the check for me. So, I go over to their house yesterday to divide it as follows:
$300 to my parents for the small loan I have from them (when I say small, that might be a lie, unless small is a down payment on a house)
$200 to SL to help her cover bills
$300 to car insurance
$100 to me
So I have my Mom pay my car insurance online and grab a personal check for $200 for SL and $100 for me then turn the entire $900 check over to my parents. Everyone is happy, right? Wrong. Of course I got fucking hafnered! I get a phone call last night about 7 hours after I did all this and find out that the check has been cancelled and Audi has made a mistake. So instead of paying everyone back and making everyone happy I now have to get the $200 check from my girlfriend, pay back the $100 check, plus pay my car insurance which I payed early to get out of the way. The problem that I have is that the car insurance is spent money, I don't really have the $300 to cover that right now. So basically I went from getting $900 to owing my folks another $300, that's a $1200 swing.
So if SL comes home tonight to find me st
by Why thirty scares me on Fri 02 Jun 2006 04:35 PM EDT
Let me tell you about the wonderful world of being "hafnered." Now if you look up the word hafnered in the dictionary, it would say:
hafner(ed) (past tense) see also hafner - n. - one who has found a way to destroy every easy situation; one who makes everything good turn bad: Things were great until that hafner showed up.
v. - to have uncommonly bad luck: Wow, you just got hafnered!
adj. - description of poor or lacking quality: That car is really hafnered.
The origins of "hafnered" started with a string of events that happened to this young man in college,
1) Getting arrested while watching his friend steal a sign
2) Getting arrested in front of his girlfriend and the rest of the people at the DMV for not paying a fine, spending the night in jail (inner city), all the while having the receipt for said fine in his wallet. Cop to Hafner: "Sorry there's nothing I can do, I'm not a judge."
3) Getting beaten up in the front seat of a car for trying to save a girl
4) Having the university he's attending change its policy of grade transfers 2 years after he's been going there, lowering his GPA from 2.8 to 2.2 making graduation borderline impossible, making 6 years of school and $23,000 of debt a complete waste of time.
So let me tell you how I got hafnered yesterday. First, since it's the "Summer of JT" money is a little tight right now, but like a gift from the heavens my old boss called me up and said that he had a check from Audi for $900. It couldn't come at a better time. I'm going on a vacation next week plus my $300 car payment is due. Fantastic luck (admittedly an un-hafner like moment). Since my Dad still works there he picked up the check for me. So, I go over to their house yesterday to divide it as follows:
$300 to my parents for the small loan I have from them (when I say small, that might be a lie, unless small is a down payment on a house)
$200 to SL to help her cover bills
$300 to car insurance
$100 to me
So I have my Mom pay my car insurance online and grab a personal check for $200 for SL and $100 for me then turn the entire $900 check over to my parents. Everyone is happy, right? Wrong. Of course I got fucking hafnered! I get a phone call last night about 7 hours after I did all this and find out that the check has been cancelled and Audi has made a mistake. So instead of paying everyone back and making everyone happy I now have to get the $200 check from my girlfriend, pay back the $100 check, plus pay my car insurance which I payed early to get out of the way. The problem that I have is that the car insurance is spent money, I don't really have the $300 to cover that right now. So basically I went from getting $900 to owing my folks another $300, that's a $1200 swing.
So if SL comes home tonight to find me st
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