Waking up to Danza

Hello everyone,
So I'm one step closer to becoming homeless, yes that's right I slept in my first hallway this weekend, and boy was it a boost to my self esteem. Me, curled up, snoring using a backpack as a pillow, the landlord stepping over me at 6am to wake me up and let me into my apartment. Apparently landlords in Rochester are not on call at 2am Saturday night after you've been drinking for 14 hours and left your keys at a bar.

I was thinking I might jump on this "Myspace" bandwagon that way I can figure out how many friends I have. I could wake up every morning and look into my computer's eyes and finally realized that not only am I liked by my parents but also 64 other random people I've never met or cared about.

I finally realized I really need a job, not for lack of money (owww sweet, sweet unemployment insurance) but so that I make sure I get up before 9am so I can watch the Tony Danza show. If that doesn't scream House Mom, I don't know what does.
Me: "Little Johnny, you have to go to school today the bus is almost here and Danza just started."
Johnny: "But I don't feel so well."
Me: "Don't let me get your working mother that supports this family because I'm a lazy asshole after you, you remember what happened last time."
Johnny: "She threatened to divorce you so you would have to move in with your parents."
Me: "Sit down son, take a load off. Let's watch some Danza."