A cautionary tale on bad luck...

A cautionary tale on bad luck...
by Why thirty scares me on Fri 02 Jun 2006 04:35 PM EDT
Let me tell you about the wonderful world of being "hafnered." Now if you look up the word hafnered in the dictionary, it would say:
hafner(ed) (past tense) see also hafner - n. - one who has found a way to destroy every easy situation; one who makes everything good turn bad: Things were great until that hafner showed up.
v. - to have uncommonly bad luck: Wow, you just got hafnered!
adj. - description of poor or lacking quality: That car is really hafnered.

The origins of "hafnered" started with a string of events that happened to this young man in college,
1) Getting arrested while watching his friend steal a sign
2) Getting arrested in front of his girlfriend and the rest of the people at the DMV for not paying a fine, spending the night in jail (inner city), all the while having the receipt for said fine in his wallet. Cop to Hafner: "Sorry there's nothing I can do, I'm not a judge."
3) Getting beaten up in the front seat of a car for trying to save a girl
4) Having the university he's attending change its policy of grade transfers 2 years after he's been going there, lowering his GPA from 2.8 to 2.2 making graduation borderline impossible, making 6 years of school and $23,000 of debt a complete waste of time.

So let me tell you how I got hafnered yesterday. First, since it's the "Summer of JT" money is a little tight right now, but like a gift from the heavens my old boss called me up and said that he had a check from Audi for $900. It couldn't come at a better time. I'm going on a vacation next week plus my $300 car payment is due. Fantastic luck (admittedly an un-hafner like moment). Since my Dad still works there he picked up the check for me. So, I go over to their house yesterday to divide it as follows:
$300 to my parents for the small loan I have from them (when I say small, that might be a lie, unless small is a down payment on a house)
$200 to SL to help her cover bills
$300 to car insurance
$100 to me

So I have my Mom pay my car insurance online and grab a personal check for $200 for SL and $100 for me then turn the entire $900 check over to my parents. Everyone is happy, right? Wrong. Of course I got fucking hafnered! I get a phone call last night about 7 hours after I did all this and find out that the check has been cancelled and Audi has made a mistake. So instead of paying everyone back and making everyone happy I now have to get the $200 check from my girlfriend, pay back the $100 check, plus pay my car insurance which I payed early to get out of the way. The problem that I have is that the car insurance is spent money, I don't really have the $300 to cover that right now. So basically I went from getting $900 to owing my folks another $300, that's a $1200 swing.

So if SL comes home tonight to find me st