Verizon+Super Cuts=Enron

So I got a new phone through work Verizon Wireless. I’m pretty sure they are owned and operated by Enron. 6 days its taken me to try to get my number over from my last carrier. These aren’t short phone calls either, right now its 12:15; I’ve been on hold since 11:17. Things I hate about Verizon Wireless:

“Sorry for the long hold, at this time I’m waiting for the other representative, do you mind being on hold for another one to two minutes” They don’t even let you stay on hold so you can at least you can do other things, you have to talk to Tasha every 2 minutes.
“It can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 24 hours” with today’s computers I would think a company on the cutting edge of technology would be able to press a button and call it a day. But no they probably use the Pony Express to complete their transactions. Huck Fin and Cool Hand Luke are probably riding their stallions through Wyoming right now with a little piece of paper with my Phone number on it in the satchels right now.
“I’m going to need to call you back” my phone doesn’t exept phone calls~ incert make up funny phone conversation, something like “I’m sorry I’m going to have to call you back”
Me
“I’m sorry but I’ll be unreachable because the phone that we bought off of you isn’t working properly because your company must be run be a bunch of baby gorilla’s. So I’ll call you back later when we will go through this all over again. Also I hope your first born falls into a well”

I don’t know why I always get the ADD hairstylist (lady right in front of the cashier).
Snip, “ohh need to pay sweetheart ok I’ll be right there”
Snip “Pumpkin no, no the product is on the left hand shelf, ok I’ll be right over”
Snip “Ring” “ring” “Ri.. Hello thank you for calling Super Cuts, no sweetheart I’m not busy, Yes there’s someone in my chair but I’m going to ignore him for a while, basically telling him that anything that walks, talks, or rings in front of this register is more important than his ever dwindling unemployment money, so what I’m going to do right no is tell him nonverbally to fuck off, and that we here at super cuts can take or leave his business because we also are run by Enron like Verizon Mobile”
Its funny because the two stores are right next to each other, well funny for me anyways, maybe not for you, if it wasn’t funny you can call me, good F-ing Luck.