Hello everybody, I really didn't do too much this weekend besides play volleyball and spend about a million dollars that I can't afford right now. Next week I'll be at Martha's Vineyard all week. How does one afford to go on vacation without having a job, you might ask? The wonderful world of unemployment! I wish I could find some way to do this for the rest of my life, but I can't. The day that I get home I have to start with monster.com, then maybe take a glance at the paper. Then when all else fails, the temp agencies, I can't wait. Then I'll have to go on interviews, lie about myself and how motivated I am, how I'm never late. I think it will go something like this: Interviewer: Why do think you're qualified to be the vice president for the Ford motor company?
Me: "I don't have AIDS."
Interviewer: "I don't really know what that has to do with it.
Me: "Well you want someone that can stick around for a while don't you?"
Interviewer: "You smell like liquor and did't even shave to come in here, plus you're wearing a wife beater and tennis shoes."
Me: "When do I start? My f-ing office better have a window, by the way your fired!" Interviewer: "Get out of my office."
Me: "It's my office now bitch!"

I think I may be losing it.