catching up on the mountain

There are a couple of things that I‘ve always wondered about the world:

1.How does superman get a haircut?
2.Why does mans best friend have a 9 year life span, and does that somehow correspond with the length of the average marriage?
3.If I were to die right this very second, since I have no will, who would get all of my debt?

So as everyone can see, I’m back from the wonderful state of Florida. If Dorothy was from Florida instead of OZ it would be “old people, dog tracks and Cuban’s Oh my”, also Dorothy would be 130 years old drive a 1984 Cadillac, and can play canasta like nobodies business’s. The one good thing about Florida is I found a great way to save yourself 34 dollars, just think about going on a airboat ride put a fan in your face and have a buddy spill sewer water all over your hair, exactly the same experience, but with out the beautiful noise of a 1000 horse power fan blowing in your ear.

There is nothing I like about winter beside people who fake tan in it. I have a friend whose Irish and walks around in the middle of January looking like he is a Mexican. I should really say something but if I did I couldn’t make fun of him behind his back and on the blog, which about 4 people read a day.

A guess that will come to the top five reasons no one should become my fiend:
5. Since I’m presently not in the “new friend” market right now, you being the “new friend” would have to really be able to offer something. Since I have nothing to offer you then this wouldn’t be the give and take relationship your looking for.

4. I never, I mean never, return phone calls

3. Some time when its get late at night and I’ve had a couple of cocktails, I need to be held, then I push you away in the morning

2. I’m a taker, not a giver

1. Because frankly son, you’ll start getting all attached and I will go live my life long dream of being a gay cowboy on brokeback mountain and emotionally I can’t handle one of those “Why can’t I quit you moments” right now. I don’t have the time, I don’t have the energy.

JT OUT